Stoopid
by Stalagmite
Summary: You people are really enjoying this aren't you? Anyway, I added another chapter about Peanut Butter Elves and Harry's chopped off arms! YAY! Now who wouldn't want to read about that?
1. The Evil Corn Hippies

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does , blah blah blah you know the rest.  
  
Author's note: WARNING!!! THIS IS A VERY RETARDED STORY THAT SHOULD ONLY BE READ BY PEOPLE WHO ARE EXTREMELY BORED AND DESPERATE FOR A LAUGH. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. I MEAN IT!!! ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO READ THIS?!?! ARE YOU REALLY SURE?!?!?!?! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!!!!  
  
Once upon a time, Harry fell out of the sky while he was eating his wand.   
  
The evil corn hippies suddenly attacked and began doing the electric slide which caused Hermione to explode.   
  
Ron did the Hokey Pokey to counter the evil corn hippies' electric slide but the smelly socks of doom fed him my homemade cooking and he transformed into a toilet.   
  
After Harry finished eating his wand he giggled like a 7 year old and did ballet with some guy named Bob. Proffesor Snape skipped through the park in a frilly pink dress shouting, "I'M A BEEEEYYYYOOOOOOOTIFUL LITTLE NYMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at the top of his lungs.   
  
Bob fell in love with Snape and ditched Harry for him.   
  
The Earth exploded and everyone cheered and threw cheese at eachother and they all lived happily ever after except for Bob because Snape cheated on him with an ant. THE END.  
  
Well, that was short and idiotic...heh....anyway, review if you want to but I don't mind if you think this story is too stupid for you to even waste any time reviewing it. It seems wierd to write this knowing that when I actually DO try to make something GOOD it turns out brilliant. Oh well. 


	2. Costumes

Presenting...drumroll THE SEQUEL TO THE EVIL CORN HIPPIES!!! Yay!!!!  
  
Once upon a time Hermione (who somehow came back to life after she exploded Oo) dressed up in a baked potato costume and went to Ron's house.  
  
"AHHH!!!! AN EVIL BAKED POTATO!!!!!!" Ron screamed.  
  
"Actually I'm Hermione disguised as an evil baked potato" she said.  
  
"AHHH!!!! AN EVIL HERMIONE!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron screamed again.  
  
"Actually I'm Cho disguised as Hermione disguised as an evil baked potato" she said and pulled open a zipper on her back.  
  
"AHHH!!!! AN EVIL CHO!!!!!!!" Ron screamed AGAIN.  
  
"Actually I'm Hermione disguised as Cho disguised as Hermione disguised as an evil baked potato" she said and pulled open another zipper on her back.  
  
Ron screamed again and kissed Hermione for no apparent reason.  
  
"Umm...you DO know I'm actually Seamus disguised as Hermione disguised as Cho disguised as Hermione disguised as an evil baked potato right?" she...er...he said pulling another zipper on his back.  
  
Ron shrieked and exploded. His exploded bits exploded again and his exploded exploded bits exploded again.  
  
This went on all day until Seamus invited the carrot monks over for tea and threw Ron's exploded exploded exploded exploded exploded exploded exploded exploded bits into Harry's socks.  
  
THE END  
  
There! Now I have written yet another short and idiotic story. lol How many more will I make?! 


	3. Bob's story

Welcome to yet another strange addition to Stoopid, a very unusual Harry Potter story! This chapter is about Bob, the wierd guy who seemingly appeared out of nowhere and did ballet with Harry in Chapter 1, The Evil Corn Hippies, and ran away with Snape.  
  
Once upon a time, Oh forget the once upon a time thingy already! Bob ate cottage cheese and twirled around in a pink blouse and mini skirt.  
  
Snape was hiding in a closet kissing an ant named Bob The Second.  
  
Bob laughed and screamed "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME" and tied fish to his feet.  
  
Snape stuck ice-cream up his nose and ran down the yellow brick path with Bob The Second while flapping his wings.  
  
Bob flew away to the Island of Misfit Toys and was never seen again.  
  
Harry jumped out of his window and screeched "I'LL SAVE YOU BOB!!!!!" even though Bob was over 1000 miles away.  
  
Bob The Second teleported to the Island of Misfit Toys and comforted Bob.  
  
They got married and sang the Dora the Explorer theme song for the rest of their lives.  
  
THE END  
  
Err...that's about it...yeah... 


	4. Bendy Straws

Okay. Since people actually reviewed and asked me to write more (GASP!) I have decided to write another extremely short chapter. Lucky you.  
  
Once upon a time the giant frilly doileys of Notre Dame attacked the city of Townsville.  
  
Ginny screamed with laughter and decided to go bowling using Harry's head.  
  
Harry gave his head to her and they skipped along the gutter next to Billy Bob's house.  
  
Hermione craved blood so she attacked Ron with Play-Doh and sucked out his brains with a bendy straw.  
  
Proffesor McGonagall pranced around singing Old McDonald with an evil little piggy with a fork for a tail.  
  
The piggy said "LET'S GO SUCK OUT EVERYONE'S BRAINS WITH BENDY STRAWS!!!" so they did.  
  
Can anyone guess the lesson of this story?  
  
Bob: Never suck out people's brains with bendy straws?  
  
No! Of course not you idiot! The lesson was to never stuff moths in your ears while eating cheesy jelly. Wasn't it obvious?  
  
Bob: ...no  
  
YOU CONTRADICT A TEACHER?!  
  
Bob: But you're not a teacher...  
  
YOU MUST BE PUNISHED!!!  
  
Sucks out his brain with a bendy straw  
  
Umm....The End? 


	5. Peanut Butter Elves and Harry's arms

People actually want me to write more...well, these stories only take about 5-10 minutes to write so I guess I might as well. Oh and Legendary DigiTamer Lee, I'll try to put more Harry/Ginny but it's hard to add romance into an idiotic story.  
  
Once upon a time Harry felt like shooting himself in the head so he got a gun and filled it with pineapples.  
  
Ginny screamed "HARRY!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" in slow motion and filled the gun with fish instead.  
  
The fish made the gun explode and Harry's arm fell off.  
  
Ginny took the arm and said "OoOoOoO!!!!! FOOD!!!!" so she and Harry ate his arm together.  
  
Hermione wanted Harry's arm for herself so she stole it from Ginny and slapped her with a piece of cheese.  
  
Ginny screamed bloody murder so Harry chopped off his other arm and gave it to her.  
  
Malfoy wanted Harry's left foot but Ginny pelted him with carrots and a purple apple she found on the ground.  
  
The purple apple transformed into Barney and tormented Malfoy into admitting he was wearing Barbie underwear.  
  
Everyone gasped and hurled grapes at him.  
  
The grapes became tiny elf people made of peanut butter and took the President hostage on Pluto.  
  
The peanut butter elves took over the world and stole Harry's other arm and the rest of his body.  
  
The only thing left was Harry's head so Ginny took it home and stuffed it with raisins.  
  
THE END  
  
Ummm...review? 


	6. Fido, the purple and blue striped flying...

Okay...I'm making yet another chapter...this could possibly be the last one though. Oh, and I'm starting on a new fanfic so watch out for it!  
  
Once upon a time in The Realm of The Carrots a turnip was coming to life...but this story has nothing to do with that so let's get back to Harry and those other people.  
  
Hermione was stuffing a sausage with flowers for Ron's birthday.  
  
The sausage attacked and Ginny screamed even though she was in a laundremat 500 miles away.  
  
Hermione ignored the sausage and continued stuffing it with flowers until it exploded and jelly burst out of it's lungs...if it had any anyway...  
  
Ron saw a clump of dirt that looked like a pony so he ate it and spit it out on the sausage who shrieked and flew away to LaLaLand.  
  
The auther of this very unusual fanfic decided to turn Harry, Ron, and Hermione into clocks so she added that to the story.  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned into clocks because Kimmy-Kitty wanted them too.  
  
Fido, the purple and blue striped flying monkey, flew to the rescue to help Seamus who was still in shock from what Ron did in chapter 2.  
  
The peanut butter elves from the last chapter crashed through the roof screaming "WE WANNA HELP PURPLE AND BLUE STRIPED FLYING MONKEYS SAVE THE WORLD TOO!!!!"  
  
Fido agreed so the peanut butter elves became his sidekicks and helped him fight Harry's arch enemy.  
  
No, not Voldemort but the Hairy Harry spiders of DOOM that resembled Harry only hairier.  
  
THE END  
  
That's done. Go home. Shoo. 


End file.
